Happy Thanksgiving from Bucs on Deck

Plenty to be thankful for this year

This year has been very trying for me, especially on the mental side of things. I do my best to approach everything with the ‘this is how it was meant to happen’ mindset and make the best out of everything, but some days are harder than others.

It’s easy to believe when things are going right, but it's another story when there are more obstacles.

I’ve mentioned it here before, but we’ve been in the process of buying a house for the majority of the year, which is exciting to think of eventually having a ‘place of our own.’

Unfortunately, the process has been far from smooth. Where we were renting, they decided not to renew their lease with us, and what was supposed to be a couple-month stint in a hotel has now turned eight, nearly nine.

For someone who has difficulty with distractions, especially when writing, it has been hard to be confined to a smaller space with other things going on at times.

We are in the final stretch of getting everything done and moved in, with the hope being by the end of the year.

On the writing side of things, I went into this season with different plans, none of which was starting my site with its partial paywall.

Life happens, as my Mom (and the Philadelphia 76ers) have stressed to me for so long, ‘Trust the Process.’

This year has really tried that saying.

So, even with so much going on, I have a lot to be thankful for this year.

The site is doing fantastic, I’m still blown away by the response and the support I’ve gotten since starting it. As things unfolded and it became clear that my time at P2 was running out, I hit a rut. I was already living in a hotel room with crappy internet that made watching baseball enough of a pain as it was.

I was starting to take it as a sign that maybe it just wasn’t meant to be, that perhaps it was time to focus my energy elsewhere, which wasn’t a new feeling.

During the 2021 season, I told myself I would give it one last shot and devote as much time and energy as possible to covering the Pirates. If it didn’t lead somewhere, I would be done writing.

After the season, Tim messaged me, asking if I wanted to do the player breakdown articles I was doing on my site and Through The Fence on P2.

It's probably the quickest response I’ve ever given to any question.

I’ll always be thankful for my time there, but by the time it was all said and done, I felt like I was right back where I was in 2021, and I began to think, ‘What’s the point?’

The idea of having to ‘start over’ was demoralizing, and part of me didn’t want to. There may have been a couple of days where the plan was to stop writing. I had too much going on, too much going against me, I just wanted to be done. What I always wanted would never happen, and maybe it was time to focus on something more realistic.

But I had too much to say about the Pirates’ system to stop, and that’s how Bucs on Deck was born.

It just started as a place I could go (eventually WTM, Nola, Ryan, and Ethan) to talk about what we love the most, but it’s grown much faster than I could have anticipated.

I don’t think I could ever truly show my appreciation for the support you all have given, but it drives me to keep going here, even on days when I wake up and my situation seems to weigh heavier on me than usual.

Your support helped put me in a position to get approved for credentials, not only for myself but for WTM down in Florida as well. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do but never thought it would happen.

When I got the approval for credentials for Greensboro, I won’t lie; I cried. Starting my site, I had to force myself to lower my expectations to almost nonexistent regarding almost everything.

I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression my entire life. Small talk is one of the hardest things for me to do, as is just walking up to someone and starting a conversation.

So, I never expected to actually push myself to be in a professional dugout, talking to players and managers. It’s still surreal that it happened. It certainly wasn’t going to happen now that I was starting out here.

I was starting over, everything that I built, I would have to do so again.

Turns out, that wasn’t anywhere near true. I was building something, and it carried with me here. All that work was finally paying off.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all. You guys make this all worth doing. No matter how involved you are with the site, whether you just read, comment, or subscribe, it means the world to me.

To my girlfriend, who has gone above and beyond to be as supportive as possible. I'm not sure many people would put up with someone spending the kind of time I put into working and writing for half the year like I do during the season, but she does.

I feel like many people around me saw this as primarily a ‘hobby,’ but she saw more and has pushed me past where I ever thought I could get.

I wish I could do more for the contributors to the site, but I am so thankful for all they have done to help out. WTM and his player pages turned out incredible, I could only imagine the time and effort they took.

Nola, giving me a day off here and there to do the previews during the season, Ryan pitching in a few articles at the end of the year and pictures, and nobody does what Ethan does. They could try, but it wouldn’t be the same. You guys are awesome.

This year has been trying, but it’s been an incredible learning experience, I’ve worked even harder at finding the good out of everything, especially when things aren’t going my way.

I look forward to taking on any more challenges along the way.

So Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, thank you for all that you do. Enjoy your day, eat some turkey, and we will get back to baseball on Friday.